


Galaxy's Echo

by innogueira



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Glasses!Iwaizumi, Light Angst, Long-Distance Friendship, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Secrets, University Student Iwaizumi Hajime, deteriorating vision, oikawa tooru is clueless, star tears disease
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-18 10:54:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29242416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/innogueira/pseuds/innogueira
Summary: "Having a crush on someone who’s so intertwined with your life, who you see as your brother, your best friend, the one person you trust the most, is a very funny thing. You don’t realise you’ve fallen in love until it’s too late."Iwaizumi Hajime faces the consequences of letting a simple crush grow unchecked. It starts with the echo of a single tear on a bathroom sink.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 4
Kudos: 23
Collections: Iwaoi Server Valentine Exchange 2021





	Galaxy's Echo

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aurawinterrain](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aurawinterrain/gifts).



Crushes are a funny thing. It’s a little feeling, deep in your heart, that flushes you, warms you up as you think of that person. It’s not all consuming, doesn’t demand to be heard and known, but it’s there. There’s no denying it’s there, but it isn’t in the forefront of the mind.

Iwaizumi Hajime didn’t think about his crush on Oikawa Tooru, his best friend. It’s there, just like how the fraternal love always is, and it’s nothing to worry about. Hajime currently has more to stress about than his feelings, that he objectively knows won’t go anywhere. They won’t lead to a relationship, but they won’t leave too. They’re deeply rooted in Hajime, probably since he met Tooru when he was 5. It’s a big ‘what if?’ he comes back to every once in a while.

There’s Nationals to think about, exams, deadlines to foreign universities that demand Hajime’s attention, hell, even Tooru deserves more attention than whatever silly romantic feelings Hajime harbours. 

Hajime has his hand full as a third year, so those feelings are pushed to the back of his mind, to the back of his heart, and he focuses on the important things. What good does a crush do when you can’t enjoy the little time you have left with that person before both your paths diverge? Hajime refuses to let it take more space in his mind than it already does, and he doesn’t want it to get worse once Tooru gets on a plane to Argentina and they don’t know when it’s the next time they’ll see each other. 

He doesn’t want to cry constellations.

It’s his last year so Hajime makes the most out of it. Matsukawa and Makki become regular study buddies, he treats Oikawa out to ramen even before the brat whines for it, he mentors the first years and gives them all the advice he can, hoping that they’ll be able to do what they never did. Hajime hopes their kouhais will be able to bring Seijoh to Nationals. 

Hajime wants to burn those moments in his mind. When they’re all living their different lives, he wants to remember the good times he spent with his friends, he wants to make the most memories so there’s something he can fondly think back to when he feels lonely. 

Hajime fully throws himself into that. They don’t make it to National and it hurts, but the entire team goes out for dinner, and in between tears, they have a lot of fun. Kindaichi even stops looking so scared of him and actually keeps a decent conversation going. Tooru is heartbroken, but he privately tells Hajime that this only gave him more strength to follow his dreams. He tells him he’s glad he had Hajime by his side up until that moment, and in the future, when they face off, he’ll know Hajime will still, in a way, be on his side.

Having a crush on someone who’s so intertwined with your life, who you see as your brother, your best friend, the one person you trust the most, is a very funny thing. You don’t realise you’ve fallen in love until it’s too late. You don’t realise until Oikawa Tooru excitedly shows you the plane ticket to Buenos Aires a few weeks after crying about their defeat in the Spring Tournament, and you have to excuse yourself to the bathroom.

You only realise you’ve fallen in love when your vision blurs and your sink echoes the twinkle of your tears.

Iwaizumi Hajime realizes he’s in love with Oikawa Tooru when he looks up from his sink to the mirror and sees the sparkles coming out of his eyes, trailing down his cheeks. It’s hipnotic, really, how his eyes follow the trail of tears before they drop from his jaw to the porcelain on the sink he’s tightly gripping. 

Everyone knows, in theory, about the Star Tears Disease. They learn it in middle school science class, but the first time they probably hear of it, it’s at home. Everyone has someone in the family that lost their eyesight to the condition. It’s so regular that schools started teaching braille as part of the curriculum, as you never know if you might end up needing it.

Hajime has his aunt. She lost her eyesight in her mid twenties after a college relationship that ended up being one sided. Hajime remembers being young, sitting on his aunt's lap, listening to her story. He always wondered why her eyes looked so vacant, unfocused, and while he in theory knew she was blind, it was hard for his little kid brain to grasp the full extent of her disability.

She told him how at first stars fall from your eyes. Hajime had frowned at that; how can stars fall from your eyes when they’re up in the sky?

“You know how the night sky looks? How bright it can be?” she feels Hajime nodding, her fingers gently running through her nephew’s hair. “Now, when you fall and get hurt, you cry-”

“I don’t cry!” Hajime protested immediately. He thought he was a pretty tough kid back then, but even he shed a tear or two. His aunt laughed.

“Okay, Haji-chan. When your friends get hurt and cry, their tears are transparent right? But when you love someone so much, you feel like it can only compare to the night sky. The sky is infinite and so is your love.”

Hajime scratched his temple as he tried to make sense of his aunt’s words. “So you cry the sky because you love someone so bigly?”

His aunt chuckles at his use of the word ‘bigly’ but instead of correcting his vocabulary, she continues. “In a way. You only cry the sky when your love doesn’t have anywhere to go. When the person you love doesn’t love you back.”

“But uncle loves you! He brings you flowers and draws you pretty pictures you can touch!”

“Of course he does. He wasn’t the one that didn’t accept my love. There was a boy before him that I loved very much, but he didn’t love me back. So I cried. I cried so much that the stars started to blind me. Until I couldn’t see the sky anymore.”

Hajime had listened to his aunt attentively, soaking up every word that came out of her mouth. She didn’t see because a boy didn’t love her, but his uncle loved her, he was sure, and his uncle could see, so that meant his aunt loved him back. His little brain was confused with so much information that what ended up being relevant was what little Hajime had learned a few weeks ago in kindergarten.

“The sun is a star…”

His aunt’s laugh is beautiful, and he smiles when he hears it, knowing he makes her happy too. That he loves her and he’s not making her cry stars. “That’s why it burns when you cry those tears. The sun is very hot.”

“Does that mean… That you shouldn’t love someone?” Hajime asked after a few moments of silence. 

“Oh, baby! No, of course not.” she had sounded so sad at that. Like the simple thought of not loving someone out of fear hurt her even more than tears ever could “It just means you should know when to let go.”

Now, well over a decade after that conversation had happened, Hajime experiences the disease that affects nearly 10% of the population. He finally knows what his aunt had meant about the burn, and he wonders why he is being punished for loving someone. Not having those feelings returned hurt enough, he didn’t need to physically hurt because of it as well.

After trying to calm down, Hajime cleans the tear tracks with the back of his hand, trying to look like he didn’t literally just cry his eyes out. 

Tooru was not going to know about it. 

When he goes back to the room, his eyes are barely red rimmed and the other is too lost in his happiness over his dreams starting to take form, that he doesn’t even realise. He’s back on his computer looking at the pictures of his future studio apartment Blanco had sent over to him. Hajime sits next to him and smiles softly as he hears his best friend excitedly going on about how he’d rather have a futon than a western like bed.

As he hears Tooru, Hajime wonders how someone that makes him so happy can also make him cry the night sky. How someone that gets him warm all over when he smiles genuinely can make Hajime’s cheeks burn with the tears that fall from his eyes.

It becomes part of Hajime’s life, the tears. It’s easy to control them most of the time, to leave situations that trigger them. Tooru is leaving in a few weeks, he gets on a plane to California a few days later, it’s manageable and no one finds out.

When Tooru hugs him goodbye at the airport, Hajime manages to keep the tears at bay. The love of his life is going across the world, hours away from him, and Hajime doesn’t even have the heart to blame him about it. It breaks his heart, yeah, but Tooru is so happy he has this opportunity presented to him that it almost makes up for the pain in his chest and the pain behind his eyelids.

The blues are starting to look a bit dull to Hajime when he lands in California, but it’s okay. The time and physical distance he has from Tooru will eventually dull his feelings for his best friend as well. He’s going to make new friendships and he’s going to fall in love again. The tears filled with stars will disappear soon enough.

He settles in his dorm room and makes friends during the first few weeks, mostly international, people who understand what it’s like to get out of your comfort zone and move to a different country, with a different language, culture. It makes the change easier for Hajime. 

It takes Hajime a few weeks after he settles in before he can actually be honest with Tooru about his decision. It had been made when he first started losing some shades of blue, and it had hurt him greatly, but it is the right decision. Hajime would have to be honest about the reason he quit playing volleyball if he managed to get through a season. 

Besides, he couldn’t keep this from his best friend for too long. Tooru had already been asking him about tryouts and it was just better to rip the bandaid and deal with this.

Hajime’s heart squeezes in his chest when Tooru picks up the call. His hair is longer, his skin is tanner, and there’s a splosh of freeks over his cheeks. He’s only been in Argentina for a little over three months, but his happiness was clear to see. Tooru is across the continent from him and is thriving. Hajime is in the States and for now he only has his declining sight.

Hajime is happy for Tooru. He really is, seeing him relaxed, carefree, with a permanent smile on his lips. It’s what Hajime always wanted for him, it’s what Tooru always deserved. It brings Hajime great happiness and also great sorrow. The happier he is, the more it makes Hajime fall in love with him and consequently lose the ability to see that happiness.

It isn’t fair, but Hajime has known that for a while. He resigned.

They catch up, talking about classes, practices, games, new friends, until Hajime can’t beat around the bush anymore and just tells Tooru he isn’t going to keep playing.

“What do you mean you didn’t sign up for the volleyball team? Iwa-chan, you said you would still play in the college circuit!” Tooru’s whine comes clear through Hajime’s computer, and even if it’s slightly pixelated so does his pout. 

Hajime shrugs, looking at the image of his best friend on his screen. He rests his cheek against his hand, trying not to make a big fuss out of it. It wasn’t a big deal, after all. “I know, but my plans changed… I can’t juggle a team and my studies.”

“You did that all your life, you’re excellent at time management! What is it, Iwa-chan? Did you fail try-outs? Are americans so stupid to deny someone as talented as you? That’s ridiculous!” Oikawa Tooru rarely took no for an answer. Hajime knows that, and was expecting the resistance.

“I didn’t go to try outs.” he simply says

The call goes quiet as they stare at each other through their laptops. The silence is tense, and when Tooru finally speaks, he sounds hurt. “Hajime… why then?

Hajime bites the inside of his cheek as he lies. “I guess I just can’t see a future in volleyball..”

“How about our promise?”

“I’m sorry, Tooru.”

Tooru purses his lips and Hajime knows him too well to know what it means. He wears his heart on his sleeve, his emotions on his expressions. It surprises Hajime when he actually talks before ending the call.

“I just… need a few days, Hajime… Bye.” then the screen goes black, a little pop up telling Hajime the call has been disconnected. 

He lets his head fall onto his desk as the tears start to roll out. Each tiny star echoes against the wood as they drop from Hajime’s eyes. 

Why is this a punishment for loving someone? Why can’t he focus on the happiness it brings him to see Tooru thrive in his element? Why does he have to cause Tooru pain, and why does he have to feel like he’s crying lava when he thinks about him?

Hajime knows he’ll be forgiven. Tooru never holds grudges for too long, especially with him, but it won’t change the fact that Hajime knows he disappointed him. So he cries. He cries until the stars stop, until there’s nothing more to cry.

He cleans his eyes with the back of his hand, hissing at how tender they feel, and he pretends he’s not bleeding out for someone who doesn’t love him back.

Honest to himself, Tooru comes back a few days later as if nothing had happened. They talk about how Tooru had greatly improved his defense, and how Hajime is preparing for his midterms. It’s like they both brush over the fact that the one thing they promised each other before leaving Japan won’t happen. There’s tension there, but they don’t address it.

They fall into a routine. 

Eventually they get busy and talking as often is hard to keep up, so they shoot each other a text every couple of days just to show they’re okay. Their long Skype conversations become fewer and far between. It comes as no surprise, they’re becoming adults and they are bound to grow apart, between college and sponsorships and just growing up away from one another.

Hajime doesn’t get why he still cries stars for Tooru. He doesn’t think about him constantly like he used to during their last year in highschool, he has exams and essays and a pretty busy life to worry about matters of the heart. Still, alone at night, Hajime’s mind can’t help but end up on a certain sun kissed boy, miles and miles away from him. The constant stream of photos he posts on social media doesn’t help. Tooru looks so happy in Argentina.

Hajime cries, and it doesn’t get better.

It reaches a point where doing his readings is so straining that he has a constant headache. The words start to blur, as much as Hajime tries to read them, and eventually there’s nothing more than he can do but get glasses. It sounds like defeat, but this already took volleyball away from him, Hajime doesn’t want to give up on school.

Getting his glasses is the moment when Hajime realises this is serious. Quitting volleyball hurt, but it was a rushed plan to avoid having to explain the true reason he would have to quit. His eyesight getting worse progressively? That’s terrifyingly real.

Hajime gets glasses and uses his University’s support systems. Americans somehow have a worse rate of Star Tears incidence, and his University has a lot of resources. Hajime puts it off for a few weeks, but when the sunflowers on the store front of his favourite cafe start to look grey, he signs up for Braille classes.

He doesn’t tell anyone about this. Not his family, much less Tooru. Matsukawa and Hanamaki have always suspected something was going on with Hajime, especially when they found out he quit volleyball, but they never press on it.

Hajime keeps it away from everyone that he doesn’t even realise Tooru doesn’t yet know about his glasses when they manage to Skype one night.

“Iwa-chan! How- Wait… Are those glasses?” Tooru's hair is slightly longer again and his eyes crinkle as he smiles, before widening as he notices Hajime’s new accessory.

Suddenly self conscious, Hajime fixes his glasses. “Uhm, yeah… I was having headaches and went to the doctor. It’s a low prescription, though.”

“Oh… You look-”

“Ridiculous.” Hajime gives.

“-really handsome.” Tooru’s chuckle is almost strained, and Hajime frowns at that “Finally you’re giving me a run for my money. I told you girls thought I looked better with glasses.”

“Glad to know my premature blindness is a catch for people.”

“Only because it’s you.” Tooru winks playfully and then his features soften. “You need to take it easy, Iwa-chan, you’re always studying, you’re going to age a lot even before you graduate.”

“I do need my degree.” Hajime points out.

“Just go easy on yourself, okay?” Tooru’s shoulders only relax when Hajime sighs dramatically and nods. School is demanding, but he can handle it. He can’t go easy on the reason why he’s been losing his eyesight. Tooru doesn’t need to know that, though. 

They stay silent for a few moments, until Tooru speaks up again. “Hey… I don’t think you could rock sports glasses.” It’s as close to an apology as it gets with Tooru, so Hajime nods, a soft smile on his lips.

“Yeah, I don’t think so, either…”

Tooru stares at what Hajime assumes it’s his own image on the screen, and he feels self conscious, so he quickly changes the subject “So, did you get that sponsorship?”

“Oh, yeah! The protein one!”

And just like that, Hajime avoids addressing the big elephant in the room. They laugh, they talk, they make vague promises of travelling to see each other, and life goes on.

Some people might say it’s unfair to keep that from Tooru, but Hajime doesn’t agree. He doesn’t want to make him feel guilty for not returning his feelings, to lose focus of his own dreams, to worry about Hajime. No, he wasn’t going to bother him with that. Maybe, when the time comes and he has no way out of explaining how he turned blind. 

Hopefully that’s years away, even if it has progressed pretty quickly in a bit over a year. Hajime doesn’t think about that.

Life goes on.

Spring Break comes and Hajime gets in a van with a couple of his friends and goes to Mexico. He allows himself to have fun when he doesn’t have to study, sees pretty sunsets and beautiful sunrises. He goes to museums and tries to absorb as much culture as he can.

He ups his lens prescription.

He asks Tooru to send him pretty pictures from Argentina, and he opens a Pandora's box there. He doesn’t know how many pictures Tooru ends up sending him, but he saves them all. His heart hurts a bit less, knowing he’s still part of Tooru’s life, even miles away.

Maybe it’s being used to the bright tears that it takes a few weeks for Hajime to notice that they aren’t as bright. The usual echo of them hitting a surface duller. He doesn’t think much of it, really. He’s just so used to crying stars and the toned out colours he now sees, that the darkness when he cries them in bed just feels like another symptom.   
Hajime doesn’t think about it. His condition is there and he deals with it when he has to. He changes his glasses one more time and blues don’t exist for him anymore. He deals with these things as he comes to them, like he does with most of his problems. 

It takes a few more weeks, but Hajime does end up realizing his situation has stopped progressing. He had stopped noticing when some shades of colours vanish, but things feel the same now. Reds are still vibrant, he starts appreciating different shades of brown. 

His head stops hurting when he has to be on the computer for long hours, and the blurriness that had started taking over his vision hasn’t gotten worse. He hasn’t cried in a while, and the last time he did, just two little stars came out.

Hajime feels the same. His love for Tooru didn’t change a bit, the longing for him is always there, but... was he starting to get over him?

It was possible. There would always be love between them, but now there’s distance, too. Sure, they talk regularly, and Hajime’s heart still squeezes in his chest when he sees him, but maybe it’s just that; distance. He’s missing his best friend.

He doesn’t think about it, just thanks for the fact he is keeping his vision for a while longer.

Hajime is going back to his dorm a couple of weeks later when he stops at the top of the stairs to his 4th floor. There’s someone at his door, that quickly rises as they notice Hajime is there. 

“What are you doing here?” he’s cautious, taking slow steps to his door, squinting his eyes. Yeah, he hasn’t got worse in the last weeks, but maybe his eyes are still deceiving him. 

There’s no way Oikawa Tooru is standing at his doorstep, a carry-on on the floor next to him.

“I don’t cry.” Tooru says, like that’s answer enough, like it takes the frown from Hajime’s face. It doesn’t.

“Yes, you do. You have the ugliest cry face I’ve ever seen.” he steps closer, touching his friend’s shoulder, just to make sure he was really there “Why the hell are you here, Oikawa?”

“I don’t cry stars.”

Hajime drops his hand and sighs .“That’s good. Heard it sucks.” he reaches to open his door, wheeling in Oikawa’s carry on into his apartment. It’s rude to keep guests at the door, especially when they want to talk about serious things like that.

“No, you don’t get it.” Tooru reaches for his forearm, following him inside. This close, Hajime can see how tan he really got, how freckles are peppered over his cheeks, something a video call never got to show him properly. Tooru’s probably blue shirt looks grey to Hajime, but not the golden glow of his skin.

“Oikawa…” he mumbles, not really sure what to say. Why did he come all the way over to the States to tell him he was in love with someone and it was reciprocated? Why was life always so cruel to him?

“I think of you and I don’t cry. I mean.. I do, I miss you so much, but I don’t cry stars.” Tooru is rambling, he’s waving his hands around, a wide smile on his lips, so sure of his words. “You cry stars when your feelings aren’t reciprocated.”

Oh.

Don’t get your hopes up, Hajime. “... So?”

That gets him a characteristic eye roll, and Tooru’s hands travel up to Hajime’s shoulder, squeezing softly. “So, that means you like me back! Don’t you, Hajime?”

He thinks about all the stars he cried for Tooru, and how he hasn’t in the past few weeks. He thinks about the tug in his chest when he saw all the selfies he sent him. It couldn’t possibly mean what he thinks it does, right? “What makes you think you’re in love with me?”

Tooru isn’t shy, has never been. He lays it down and Hajime can’t help but blush deeply as Tooru goes on about his devotion, how dependable he is, how America gave him a certain something to his demeanour. He talks about how the new glasses sealed the deal, but it’s when he talks about how Hajime has always supported him that he feels it. 

Tooru tells him Hajime was the one person who never made him second guess his dreams, who pushed him forward. That the reason he was so upset when Hajime told him he wasn’t following volleyball was that maybe he hadn’t been as good as a friend to him, and that now all their shared dreams would vanish. He tells Hajime how he was always part of his future plans, and when he realised that volleyball wasn’t going to be what brought them close, that he started thinking about other ways.

“It was easy to figure out why I wanted you by my side once I actually thought about it.”

As he quiets down, Hajime sighs and takes off his glasses, rubbing his eyes. His lenses are ticker now and seeing without them was starting to get a lot harder. Colours were duller now, as well, but the specific shade of brown of Tooru’s hair was still as bright as ever. If anything, it’s the clearest colour Hajime can make out at this point.

“My vision has stabilized over the last couple of months… The last star I cried was last week…” Tooru has travelled all this way to be honest, so Hajime is honest as well. “I really thought I was getting over you.”

“Hajime…” Tooru’s voice is soft, and his hands cupping his cheeks are tender, warm.

“Did you start falling in love with me?”

“I have always loved you. I guess being platonic didn’t make it better for you…” Tooru’s thumbs gently brush under his eyes, moving under his glasses. “I’m sorry it took so long for me to see what I had right in front of me.”

“Did you really get on a plane to inform me I must love you if you don’t have Star Tears Disease?”

“I did…”

Hajime can’t help but laugh, leaning into Tooru’s touch. “You need to stop being so impulsive…”

“Never. I’ll always go after what I want. I want you..” Tooru smiles and it’s blinding, until it falls, twisting into worry. “How long have you had it?”

Hajime bites his lower lip, looking away from Tooru’s furrowed brows“. Tooru, you really don’t want to know.” 

“Hajime, please.” He really doesn’t want to tell him, but he’s past the way of keeping things from him to protect him, it’s out in the open now. 

“The first time I cried stars was on that day you showed me your ticket to Buenos Aires.”

It’s silent between them for a few seconds, before Tooru pulls him closer.

“Haji…”

“No, I don’t want you to blame yourself. I know you. It’s on me.” and he’s firm with that. None of this was ever Tooru’s fault, and he was going to make sure he knew that. “I didn’t want you to worry about me when you were taking such a big step… I just thought it would go away once I met new people…”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be… It’s not your fault you didn’t return my feelings when I didn’t even tell you about them.”

Tooru nods softly, but Hajime knows it’s not the end of it. “How bad is it?”

“Colours are pretty dull. Can’t see blues or yellows anymore. Starting to lose green,” There’s no sugar coating that, but at the end of the day, it’s better than losing everything. “But the blurriness is manageable, I can even wear contacts if I wanted.”

“Hajime-” there’s tears welling up in his eyes.

“What did I tell you? No apologizing.” Hajime reaches to bop Tooru’s nose, getting a soft chuckle out of him. “I can still see how pretty your brown eyes look. Even when you’re crying… Stars are pretty in the sky, not in your eyes.”

“Sap.” Tooru then hides his face against Hajime’s shoulders, wrapping his arms around his waist. He’s warm, too, and Hajime wraps his arms around his shoulders, holding him close.

“You’re the one who got on a plane on a whim. Maybe you’re the sap.”

“You love me, though.” Tooru says, looking up at Hajime, his eyes wet, but his smile radiant. How glad was Hajime to still have his browns, to see the caramel in Oikawa’s eyes.

“I guess I can’t lie about that.” that gets him a punch on his shoulder and a wet chuckle, before Tooru nuzzles against him again “Ouch! Yes, I love you! And you say I’m the brute.”

“I love you, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> It was so fun to enter this exchange and get to develop a prompt I had never thought about! This is for AuraWinterRain, thank you for all your great ideas, hope you enjoy this! I also hope the rest of guys you enjoyed the change of pace and me dipping my toes in soft angst.


End file.
